<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>In the shadows (where past and demons haunt) by Gemini_Baby</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26736247">In the shadows (where past and demons haunt)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gemini_Baby/pseuds/Gemini_Baby'>Gemini_Baby</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Flufftober 2020 [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Batman - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Damian Wayne Needs a Hug, Damian Wayne is a Little Insecure Bean, Damian Wayne is a good brother, Damian Wayne-centric, Dick Grayson-centric, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Flufftober, Flufftober2020, Gen, Self- hatred, Self-Loathing, cuddling for warmth, damian wayne is adorable, past trauma</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 10:15:47</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,901</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26736247</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gemini_Baby/pseuds/Gemini_Baby</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Damian agrees to play the game of “Hide and Seek” with his siblings. He is having fun. Until it goes a little sideways.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Dick Grayson &amp; Damian Wayne</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Flufftober 2020 [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2022917</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>232</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Flufftober2020</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>In the shadows (where past and demons haunt)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Written for the Flufftober 2020's prompt, "In the Shadows"<br/>I hope you enjoy &lt;3 </p><p>Many thanks to Lulaypp (Fori) for helping me with the fic and making it a lot better ♥</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Hiding in the shadows, trying to not get spotted and win first place was not meant to be a competition. It was meant to be a game, and Damian was slowly starting to enjoy and appreciate it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was proud of his hiding place. Inside the T-Rex. Hiding in the shadows and being one with them, melting into the surroundings.</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>He knows that he wouldn’t be found here. Nevermind the small fear always lingering that maybe they would not even want to find him. That they would be actually happy to not have to deal with him anymore. Fair, Damian thinks. Who is he to mind others not liking him when </span>
  <em>
    <span>he</span>
  </em>
  <span> hates </span>
  <em>
    <span>himself</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The hiding in this place alone does hide him from others but it also exposes him to his fears and insecurities. Because Damian has only himself for company. And many people can vouch that….Damian is not a good company.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He is blanketed in darkness, inside the t-rex. He is also bathed in darkness because of the bloodshed of his enemies that he had caused, his mind supplies.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hugging his knees to his chest and curling up inside the T-Rex, making his small figure even smaller, he strains his ears to hear something other than the stretch of silence physically, while his ears bleed from the echoes of his victims’ shrieks. They are not here. They are not the ones making sounds right now. It is all in the past. But still, the shrieks and screams are all that Damian hears. There’s no escape. But he is not held down by anything either.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He merely exists and hurts others. Making others bleed on the edges of the paper that is his very existence. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He hates his very being.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He loves others and is learning to show them love and care properly. He is trying. He loves people. He loves his family.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Love. Showing love and care. No hatred.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That is something Damian </span>
  <em>
    <span>tries and makes an effort </span>
  </em>
  <span>for when it comes to others. He doesn’t extend himself the same treatment. He can’t. That is a mercy he doesn’t deserve.</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Damian Wayne is a blunt person, who does not sugarcoat his words or backstab people. He will always say things in the person’s face rather than spitting them behind their backs. If he really needs to attack, he would hit on the chest, stab in the front. Warriors’ code. No backstabbing. That is a fools’ business.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Damian Wayne’s mind pulls no punches when tormenting him.</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>He should have never agreed to play Hide and Seek in the first place. This is not something that Damian can enjoy. Playing… is a luxury child assassins are not given access to. When they are assassins, that is. And when they try to leave that life behind, when they try to blend in a crowd of the supposedly normal people, when they try to forget it and move on, they always get reminders of the things they </span>
  <em>
    <span>so desperately try to forget</span>
  </em>
  <span> thrown at their faces; every time and every turn. They appear as some odd-one-out as if striking in contrasting colours in the shadow they try to blend in. Or maybe….maybe that is only Damian’s experience. Because Cassandra, raised in a similar and yet different environment, had better moral judgement. She enjoys and understands things that Damian struggles to grasp. Where she is graceful, he is clumsy. A child assassin….he couldn’t even be that, properly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So failing in all these “normal” things is just another of his weaknesses. His failure. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Yet another of his failure.</span>
  </em>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p><em><span>“ ‘</span></em><b><em>It</em></b><em><span>’ would not be</span></em> <em><span>accepted back in the league”, Grandfather had declared, addressing everyone in the League.</span></em></p><p>
  <em>
    <span>It, being Damian. That is how his grandfather addressed him. “It”. A weapon. Wielded by others and no say of its own. Damian was not considered a person.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“You will come back crawling back here, licking your wounds”, he had said to Damian, so self-assured, “You don’t believe me now that this may be a possibility? When you return here in the future, and you </span>
  </em>
  <b>
    <em>will</em>
  </b>
  <em>
    <span>, it will actually be your reality.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Damian had his doubts but a seed had been planted there in his heart. For all the dramatic flair, his grandfather’s words were seldom, if ever, hollow.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Damian gulped.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“You </span>
  </em>
  <b>
    <em>will</em>
  </b>
  <em>
    <span> come here, alive and defeated. Eyes devoid of life, and a heart beating, but not bleeding unlike now.” His Grandfather leaned back in the throne, “My words, which you don’t believe now, would echo in your ears then, and will haunt your soul forever. Not that anyone would believe that you even have a soul. That is an entirely different matter.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Damian was not considered a person. He was considered and wielded as a weapon.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Damian is not considered a person. He is dubbed as Spawn of Satan and is treated as such.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He does not know how true all the words of his grandfather were. But the “...</span>
  <em>
    <span>and will haunt your soul forever. Not that anyone would believe that you even have a soul….”</span>
  </em>
  <span> has proved itself to be so true that Damian can feel it sending shivers down his artificial spine, every day.</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>He feels someone approaching him, or approaching the T-Rex to be more accurate. Damian, though, knows that even if he gets caught, his hiding place is spotted but it is not going to be a foe or an enemy striking. Any of these things do not stop a full body flinch.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rather than telling that he has been spotted, there is a small knock at the spot where the supposed door to enter the T-Rex’s stomach is. Damian sees who it is knocking, from the littlest gap and sees Richard. He looks hesitant and in haste. With Richard, it is never a good combo.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What?” Damian hisses so that he doesn’t get caught because Richard decided to point out Damian’s hiding spot and interact with him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let me in”, Richard hisses back, and Damian is contemplating declining, “</span>
  <em>
    <span>please.”</span>
  </em>
  <span> Damian opens the door and gives Richard his hands pulling him upwards and into the stomach of the dinosaur.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Once Richard has settled in, Damian closes the door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As his attention turns to Richard, now that he has a good company and not just himself, he notices Richard is shivering slightly. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Oh no.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Richard, where were you hiding before?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“In the refrigerator, back in the cave. I was about to be found out so I raced here.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Richard, though, seems to be confused and distracted. His eyes and limbs moving everywhere while his attention being nowhere.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Richard”</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Damian hisses emphasizing the “ch” in Richard. Damian never does that. Usually. Because usually, he pronounces it either light “ch” or soft “sh”. But usually, his brother is also not shivering and probably dissociating.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah?” Dick says, from where he is next to the stomach door. The stomach is more like a submarine.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>( He blames Jason for showing him Dragon Tales episodes. He loves the episodes but he still blames Jason. That is his right as a younger brother. Right? Well, Damian will find it out sooner or later. His dynamics with siblings are </span>
  <em>
    <span>very different </span>
  </em>
  <span>from his siblings’ dynamics with each other. He is always the weird being, be it classroom, hallways, corridors, or the family. He is the odd one out. He…. he should check on Richard, and throw himself a pity party on maybe Sunday afternoon. Right now, priority: Richard)</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why did you hide in the freezer?” Damian asks, or whispers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That is where I usually hide”, Richard shares his secret hiding spot with Damian and Damian is taken aback.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why, kiddo?” Grayson tries a smile which soon shifts into a grimace.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Richard needs warmth so Damian first gets him to change their positions. Damian, now, next to the door, and Richard now further in the stomach of the dinosaur. It was hot there. It would help Richard. Then Damian presses his body closer to Dick’s. When Richard has become acquainted with the pressure on his side, Damian throws an arm around Dick’s chest and hugs him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Richard is startled and Damian suppresses his flinch. He...him pressing his body closer to his older brother was a bad idea. Damian hurts people. Why is he sad whenever they are scared of him, he asks himself.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He pulls his robin cape from next to him instead and wraps it around Dick’s shoulder, leaving it to Richard to clasp the cape for warmth according to his own comfort. After wrapping the cape around himself and some minutes of adjusting, Richard breaks the silence. “Worried about me?” He teases, lightly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Damian wants to scream why wouldn’t he be worried. Wants to tell Richard that in any universe where a Damian does not worry about Richard, </span>
  <em>
    <span>that’s not Damian</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s not funny.” That is all Damian manages to say. He now wants to facepalm. But face palming and not helping his brother won’t do any good.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Mhmm” Richard hugs his knees to his chest, and wraps the Robin cape tighter around his body.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Damian’s robin cape is heavy and warm. It is his black coloured cape with the golden lining. It can stand Nanda Parbat’s temperature. Gotham’s winter is nothing when compared to Nanga Parbat’s temperature. The temperature there is in negative centigrades on good days. The winters are </span>
  <em>
    <span>entirely something else</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He hopes the cape helps Richard. He is so lost in thought that he doesn’t immediately notice the arm extended towards him. When he notices, Richard is retracting it. He looks hesitant and sad. Or sadder for today. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Oh.</span>
  </em>
  <span> he must have thought Damian didn’t want it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He latches on the arm and lets his brother pull him closer to him. Then Richard unwraps the cape around him, and Damian doesn’t know when and how but he makes offended noises at the action. Richard presses Damian closer to his side and then wraps the cape around them both.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Damian hopes he is helping Richard, and that Richard feels warm soon. He wishes that his brother would not fall ill. Everyone would be upset if he falls ill.</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Richard is warm, and not shivering anymore.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Damian hugs him tighter.</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Richard has started dozing off. His chin hitting Damian’s head where he had tucked it under his chin beforehand. He jerks awake. “Sorry”, he mumbles despite the fact that </span>
  <em>
    <span>it was his chin that was hurt</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Damian really needs to buy a book about understanding elder siblings. If he can’t find any book on this topic, then he would have to take these matters into his own hands, and would have to write a book </span>
  <em>
    <span>himself</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dick dozes off several times and jerks awake every time. Usually, hurting his chin in the process. He is getting restless instead of actually getting rest.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Damian thinks and comes up with an idea. This time when Richard startles awake, Damian asks and shifts his head to Damian’s lap instead. He brushes Dick’s hair through his fingers and leans down to press a kiss to his brother's temple.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Maybe they should get out of the dinosaur by now. Maybe they should rest properly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But one thing they all have inherited in this family is stubbornness.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>An alarming amount of stubbornness.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Till they are not found out, they won’t come out of the T-Rex. Damian doesn’t know if it is stupid or wise. He thinks he should question it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His family members often insist that he should let the adults do the thinking and the job.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Damian looks down at his lap. The adult present is currently dozing off after he had become warm, after hours of being cold </span>
  <em>
    <span>because he decided to hide in the walk in freezer.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Damian takes a deep breath.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He keeps running his fingers through Richard’s hair, and from time to time, he massages Richard’s temple.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He hopes that they are found out soon enough.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Damian wants to win, yes. Or more like, Damian </span>
  <em>
    <span>wanted</span>
  </em>
  <span> to win.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But Richard and his health is more important.</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>He doesn’t know how much time has passed. But he hears faint sounds approaching. Faint sounds which get louder and louder, as if to alert them that they are being approached. Soon enough, there is a knock on the door and then the door is opening. Then Father’s face comes into view. He looks...concerned.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Why is Father looking concerned?</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Oh.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Richard.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Richard, whose head is lying on Damian’s lap.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Richard who almost froze to death. That may be an exaggeration but sshh.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Of course, Father would be concerned. Damian is not good news. He is a danger, a threat to many people. Father must be scared that Damian has hurt Richard, Father’s eldest son.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Damian quickly clarifies himself, “Richard was freezing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Father’s brows tighten, concern, now increased, even more evident.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He hid in the freezer, in the back of the cave, earlier.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Father’s eyebrows shot up. He enters the stomach of the T-Rex. He presses his hand to Richard’s forehead, looking for temperature.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You both have been here for hours.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Damian gulps.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I...I am sorry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Father looks at him confused. But he does not say anything.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Come out now. It is 2 am.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>2 AM!? </span>
  </em>
  <span>“2 AM?!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When did it become 2 am? They have been here for more than twelve hours! Seriously? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes. Now, help me move Dick towards the medbay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Now it is time for Damian to look scared and concerned. “Is Richard hurt?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We will have to check if he is hurt or has a cold. Why did you think that hiding in the refrigerator, where we put medicines and chemicals, was a good idea? It could also have been contaminated!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Damian just curls into himself, and doesn’t protest, doesn’t try to correct Father that he didn’t hide in the refrigerator, nor did he tell Dick to hide there with him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He stays quiet and helps Father in moving Richard out of the dinosaur. Father carries the sleeping form of his brother to the medbay and lays him down gently. Then he immediately gets to work and check on Richard.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After ten to fifteen minutes, Richard starts stirring. He wakes up and blinks. Eyes taking minutes to adjust to the light in the cave.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How are you feeling?” Father asks as he runs his fingers through Richard’s hair. He sounds soft.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“ M’ okay” Richard again starts to doze off.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Chum”, Father taps the shoulder, getting his attention. “We have to check if you are okay, and you need to be awake for this.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ssleeeep” Richard mumbles, ready to doze off again</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You were hiding in the giant refrigerator. It could be hypothermia.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“ ‘S not”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t want to risk anything.” Father sounds concerned. Protective. Damian can't help but feel guilty.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright,” Richard says. He sits up with a grumble, seeming not really happy to not be sleeping and being forced to sit.</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>After several minutes pass by, and Damian is sure he has run 30 types of tests, at least twice each, Father grunts.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You are okay. But have a chance of getting cold, so you have to be warm.” Father says. He is serious.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dick gives a sleepy smile. “Then I should sleep.” Then he moves to again lie down on the bed </span>
  <em>
    <span>in the med bay.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Here?” Father asks, eyebrows raised in question and confusion. None of his children like sleeping in the medbay.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t want to move”, Richard says.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Father takes a deep breath. No doubt preparing himself to carry Richard upstairs.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But then he looks at Dick, all serious and business. “B?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I have one thing to say.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“O- kay”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Why did you both think it was a good idea to hide in the refrigerator? Damian, why did you insist on hiding there?</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“B...Dami didn’t hide there, nor did he insist that I hide there. It was me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dick”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I then changed my spot and went to Dami”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He is a child. I thought </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span> were better and sensible, Dick”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry. Didn’t realize it will be more than 2 hours and won’t be spotted there”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Two hours?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Will be more careful next time?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hmm.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Damian was good. He helped.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sorry Damian”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Damian shakes his head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry. I got worried and protective over Dick, and hurt you in the process.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s alright”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Father lifted Richard, and motioned Damian to move upstairs with them following behind him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Father took Richard to his room, Damian following in tow. He placed Richard on the bed, covering him with lots of blankets.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He then turned around and picked Damian up from where he was standing, and placed him on one side of Richard. Damian pulled covers over himself and curled around Richard’s side, his brother doing the same. Father leaned down, kissing both of their foreheads and lied down on the other side of Richard. He adjusted the blankets on all of them. “Good Night”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Good Night Father”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good Night Dad”</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Lying on the bed, on the verge of being asleep, Damian thinks he will always be the odd one out in the family. The silence of the solitude in the present would always have the echoes of screams from his past, his hands would never be clean and he would never be completely one of them or accepted as such. But that’s okay. He had his past haunting him in the shadows but he also had people blanketing him in love and warmth.</span>
</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I hope you liked it 💖</p><p>Kudos, comments, bookmarks, user subscriptions are all welcome and appreciated</p><p>If you want to say hi on tumblr or follow me there, I am geminibabyhere</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>